Stuck

I knew U'll break my heart from the very beginning.

I wish this pain could go away

I wish I've never fall in love with you.

I wish I could stop loving you.

I never thought I could love some one as much as I love you.

Story of A Heartbroken Idiot

Drawing clouds in da air

A castle floating

Prince charming on a white horse

Fairy tail replacing reality

Tears will flow

Reality will win

It will rain 

Next come momentary rainbow

B grateful

Enjoy

For what U have

Not yet in life happiness stay forever
***************************************
Y does it has to hurt so much?
Was it because I loved u too much?
Or was it bcoz I thought U loved me that much?
Could it b that it was juz me?

Da tears dat flow y can't they stop?
It's not washing away da pain
I thought w time da wound will heal
But how long does time need?

Every second of da day
The memories of us pass my mind
Like a story telling me how many lies have been told
How many promises have been broken

Trying to put on a smile like I'm wearing a hat
Faking a laughter of a clown
Putting an act performed by a Broadway star
So dat no ones knows how hurt n broken I am

Imagining U coming back to me
N knowing that will never happen again
For ur heart is not mine
For ur heart beats for another women's love

From afar I look at da silhouette of ur back
The arm that use to hold me tight
Those fingers that use to intertwined w mine.
N the man that use to b mine.

No Matter What..

If we'r meant to be, than we r..
If we'r not than we'r not..
But no matter what happens..
I'll cherish all the memories of us..
The happy one...
The sad one..
All of them..
Because right now you mean the world to me..

If...
One day I'll be hurt..
If one day you'll no longer be apart of me..
I'll never forget what we shared
Time will heal the pain..
It'll leave a scar..
I won't mind the scar..
Because it'll allows me to..
Remember that you once meant the world to me..
Remember the feelings u made me feel..
Remember you..

I pray that I wouldn't need to remember all the moments we share from a scar..
I hope when I'm remembering them..
I'm with you..
You by my side..
Looking into your eyes..
And yours looking into mine..

No matter what..

I'll always love you..

-300313-

Wheel of Life

Hey readers... (if.. there's anybdy reading diz web cob blog of mine)
It's been a while since I last wrote..N now It's 2013. Yeaps.. da year where I loose the word teen behind da first numbr of my age.
I did have yet another awesome birthday celebration.. Diz year was da best for a lot of reason but some of em that I can list here are:

1. Got to celebrate it with my family at home, with da cake and 12 o'clock double celebration. (my sis burfday was da day b4 so we celebrated 2gther w a strawberry ice cream cake specially sponsored by my dad.. daaa.. haha).
Lots of wishes from my frenz also through sms'es. Can't blieve they remembered. 

Strawberry Ice cream cake

2.  Got another surprise bday party when I came back to my hostel at da strike of midnight b4 my bday ended. Gosh I have thoughtful housemates.. Oreo Cheese cake n purple balloons.. LOVE EM. Had a few belated wishes also... I have such lovely frenz.

Oreo Cheese Cake *from my lovely housemates*

From Najaah yg SUPER Sweet

From Yon *diz one mmg btol2 supprise coz xjangka*

3. My wish from last year was granted. My crush wishes me a happy bday.. I was more that happy.. xtetic. Screamed like hell. Super xcited, though it was a day late.. at least he wished. That was all dat I care.. haha.. *welcome psycho stalker me*.

4. Got to meet with my frenz during my short sem break. Though xsmpt nk celebrate my burfday together, at least we got da chance 2 meet up after such long time

Deena, me

Me, Aliza, Inaz

Yasirah *ex doormmate*

A gift from Yas *Got it a week b4 my bday*

There are lots of other reason 4 diz year 2 b another great bday. There's to much dat I can't list it all...

However there is one thing that I'm really disappointed, a 'friend' didn't wish me a happy birthday although he did know it was my bday at that time. Didn't say a single word, didn't even tried 2 contact me during da holiday.. To dat dear friend, U'v got lots of xplaining 2 do. 

******

Well, now I'm in the second semester of my study.

Degree life..seriously, no fun.. lot's of reading, lot's of thinking n questions to answer not juz in class but also outside da class.

Being mature sure is a burden. Though I'm always caught cheating, acting like a spoil little girl. Don't wanna grow up no more. Wish I could stop time n go back to da time where hard decision is not mine to make.

Sigh....

For diz new semester I aim 2 give a bit more concentration in my study compared 2 da last semester. I'm gonna try lil by lil 2 b better not juz as a student, buat also as a muslimah. InsyAllah...

Okay, Dunno what else to write... Da rest of da story I'v got right now is way too personal to write here. Don't wanna start any war now do we... I'v got enough problem already.. haha... Till we meet again peeps.. *which means propbly around aftr a year.. haha* Adios.

Back from da Dead

2012...

Medic school... ==' not great..
My first semester n I'm loosing it.
Dunno if I'll b able 2 c da light of my second year here.
5 year of medic school is not something I can c in my future. Can I make it? With Allah permission I pray that I could... But right now, all I could sense is "blank".
I'm no book worm n I'm not responsible enough 2 care bout much... hard at studying is not me.

My love life isn't showing any sign of a once upon a time either.
There's spark but juz not da right one.
Da one dat I actually like is not giving me da attention I'm desiring 4.
Always wanting the prince that I can't have is my kind of cliche... or is it a curse?
'No guy, no cry' or so they say... wtvr... life is confusing enough as it is. no need 4 drama to make it worse.
May da right guy finds me in good time.

On the other side...
My social life has been improving tremendously.
New friends... new memories made.

My housemates... have only known em 4 few months not even yet half a year but I can already feel da love n care we have 4 each other. Each with their own charm. We may not share lots of thing in common but we compliment each other in a way that only Allah knows how.. We respect n try to compromise with each other praying that diz friendship will last till Jannah.. Living with em have been filled with laughter n surprises.. I'm thankful 2 have em as my friends n me as their own.
Having em with me made me realize that having friends is far more important than having a single boyfriend. Friends n the other kind of 'friend' is juz different. Friends are dependable with secrets, u trust em more with it but U juz can't trust any other person with it. Not even ur Bf/Gf... Dunno why but it juz is.. 4 me..

All in all. 2012 is more than I wished 4...